22Jul/070
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles— Ten Things You Didn’t Want To Know
Super-spoilery alert.
Ten things we learn from the latest incarnation of the Terminator franchise "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"-- an upcoming TV series that is supposed to take place after Terminator 2, and possibly in another reality altogether from Terminator 3:
- Although the robots of the future may have better Terminator models (T-1000, anyone?), due to inflationary cost-cutting, they apparently prefer the original, cheaper T-101 series. (Seriously, do you think morphing mimetic polyalloy grows on trees?)
- Fortunately, Terminators can get jobs as substitute teachers to supplement their meager income as killing machines.
- They can also show up as hot young female high school students. (Portrayed by 26-year old Summer Glau)
- No matter how many people see a totally gross guy with, like robot parts sticking out of his mangled flesh, the authorities won't believe your "robots from the future" story.
- In fifty years, people will be so smart that just one engineer can make a time machine with 60s-era spare parts.
- Thus, sending that guy back to 1963 to leave stuff for you to use in 1999 is no big deal. And certainly makes a lot of sense plot-wise.
- Banks will let you keep lots of futuristic equipment-- like superguns and atomic-powered time-travel devices-- in their safety deposit boxes for 35 years without question. You can even leave them turned on for free.
- Traveling back to the future isn't a problem either. You don't even need a flux capacitor.
- Suddenly emerging naked from a ball of lightning on the LA expressway will get you on the local news, who will refer to it as a "college prank." Everyone you know will be watching the same channel, which kinda scraps your "nobody knows we're here" notion.
- And finally, even though you just left behind your retro-time machine and a blown up robot, still no one will believe your silly time-traveling androids fantasy.
Look for it on FOX in 2008. Or maybe not, depending on if the TV execs of the future can send back a Cancellator to kill it... before it's too late.
