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Rod Extreme! Ocean’s Thirteen mis-subtitled

Ocean’s Thirteen co-star David Paymer Engrish in translation
Ocean’s Thirteen: pirated in Germany, subtitles added for Chinese and Korean street markets… and bizarrely in English.

Dig this scene, in which David Paymer (as a quality reviewer) tries to get a table at the casino’s Italian restaurant — it’s almost intelligible.

Actual	Subtitled
Paymer: Hello	Hello
I’d like a table for one	I want to set a table
I hear your risotto is tremendous	I heard you were pretty good here
Host: It is tremendous	really this is the President
The name on the reservation?	minute I saw no one set it down
Paymer: I’m a walk in.	I was in here
Host: I’m sorry, sir, I can’t accommodate you.	Excuse me, Mr. I can not provide to you.
(Paymer looks around at empty tables)
Host: Those are reserved	how that
May I recommend one of our other restaurants?	Why not consider other restaurant?
Ling Su, Cantonese-inspired Szechuan cuisine	very delicate environment sexy hospitality
Paymer: Great	Rod extreme

Shortly afterwards, the subs degrade into meaningless non-sequiturs, when the dialogue gets confusingly techspeaky during a telephone call between Brad Pitt (”Rusty Ryan”) and Don Cheadle (”Basher Tarr”):

Actual	Subtitled
Ryan: Yeah? Take it easy. What’s the problem?	I was out what happened
Tarr: The tri-code optimizer that feed into the nipple-sleeve receivers perforated their lubricating bladders and began pressing against the sidewalls.	could not believe This is simply arbitrary shape We must re-ordering Do you think it
Picture a knee, but without any cartilage, bone on bone	I pulled right optimistic about the waiters
There’s a shearing effect with alloy of a different density or grade	This is no different from Rod extremely waiter
Ryan: Becomes magnetized, reverse polarization, I know. Where does that put us?	Do not panic waiter I just do not see
Tarr: Cattled	really fucking