Back to Friday, August 11:
In times of national crisis, when bureaucracy grinds normal operations to a halt, patient waiting seems to be the only recourse. Or at least that’s what I tell myself while I wonder if I didn’t make a big mistake flying today. And so, after sitting on the ground in London, we finally push off at around 11, getting in somewhere after 1am Frankfurt time. Except for my bags, which apparently don’t make it.
Nor do they arrive the next day, or the next. And here, going on five days later, they have yet to show up. I was bright enough to get a baggage trace ordered immediately, which has resulted in the following helpful information from WorldTrace.aero, “TRACING CONTINUES. PLEASE CHECK BACK LATER.” Repeated frantic calls get only busy signals, which we later find out, after a trip back to the airport, are due to the phones being taken off the hook. Calls to British Airways in London lead nowhere. Multiple emails are not replied to. Finally, I discover an email address for the British Airways employee responsible for baggage claims. This one gets a response telling me that my bags will arrive “during the next days”… which apparently is code for “after the Apocalypse”.
Most lovely was this disclaimer, “British Airways is not liable for any damage or loss of electrical/electronical items, valuable,fragile or perishable items in the checked in luggage, although no handluggage was allowed, due to the fact that it was a government order.”
Translation: Sorry, if we lost your stuff, but it ain’t our problem. We were just doing what we were told.

This sucks. I mean, where did the friggin’ luggage go? It didn’t vanish, did it?
But at least there weren’t any snakes on your motherf*ckin’ plane.