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Osama Still Alive

So sayeth the counter-rumors.

Here's the thing: bin Laden exists in the Heisenberg state of being simultaneously both dead and alive. No one knows for sure -- or rather those who do know aren't talking. So long as news about him can pop up when needed, he serves as a symbol to both "sides": a saintly freedom fighter for one and evil incarnate for the other. Bush's speechwriters have re-discovered Osama's intrinsic rhetorical value: as if to make up for the lack of mentions, this September 5th, Bush gave a speech on the "Global War on Terror" in which he referred to bin Laden no less than 17 times. By name.

Oh, and the conspiracy thing: if you believe that, I can also provide you evidence that the moon landing was faked, too.