On the Origins of Syfy – Update
A follow-up to "RIP SCI FI" in which we explore the people behind the rebrand "Syfy"
Geniuses? Sci Fi Channel Pres Dave Howe, left, Exec VP of Original Programming Mark Stern and VP of Creative Michael Engleman at Sci Fi Channel upfront March 16 where "Syfy" rebrand was announced. (Brian McDermott)
The initial group identified by The New York Times as associated with "Syfy"— after the Sci Fi Channel announced its name change at March's upfronts— was Landor Associates, the giant branding agency which became the focus of initial scorn.
Self-proclaimed "best branding expert on the planet" Rob Frankel took Landor to task for coming up with what he termed "hopelessly stupid and - you should pardon the pun - incredibly alienating new moniker." Landor (whom he referred to as "hacks") got the brunt of his invective, but he saved some for Sci Fi's execs: "Much of the blame should be placed at the feet of SciFi's corporate managers, who obviously have no concept of what branding is or does."
RIP SCI FI; WTF IS SYFY?
Rebranding of Sci Fi Channel to "Syfy" shows the channel is bereft of imagination.
A bunch of mindless jerks
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes"
Apparently, the same can now be said of the marketing bozos at the channel-soon-to-be-formerly-named-SCI-FI (or is it "Sci Fi" or "SciFi"?) See, some branding genius (London's Landor Associates) Michael Engleman, hired last year by NBC-Universal was convinced that the term "Sci Fi" had a bad connotation: it bespoke of complicated stuff, like science... and um, fiction. And people who liked that kinda thing were frankly undesirable.
So said one of the Sci Fi Channel's founder (and now "TV historian") Tim Brooks:
The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular.
(Because, of course, you can't build a channel identity on that sort of thing!)
See, the problem—contrary to critics—wasn't that the shows they broadcast sucked, or that there weren't enough compelling reasons to watch the channel, it's that the network name wasn't cool enough.
Solution? A new name!
George Clooney’s new girl: game show contestant Stephanie Katie Moeser
For the last couple of days, I'd been noticing a strange trend-- a sudden rush of searches for my over a year old posting about one "Katie Moeser" formerly a contestant on FOX's Don't Forget the Lyrics.
I got some flack for hinting that she wasn't entirely genuine about her background. Turns out my ruminations on her past were not only on the mark, but the tip of the Moeser-iceberg. So in the interests of, well, vindication, here's the scoop.
See, the adorable Miss Kate-- or is it Stephanie?-- has recently been seen in the sushi-eating company of one George Clooney. TMZ did a bit of digging and discovered that lil' Katie has been a serial-game-show-goer:
“George Clooney may have finally met a bigger player than himself -- 'cause it seems his new lady friend is a semi-professional game show contestant.
We figured out Clooney's sushi date from last weekend is either named Katie, Kate or Stephanie Moeser -- depending on which of the four different game shows she's been on.
Whats-her-name was on "Hollywood Squares" in late '03/early '04, "The Price is Right" in '06, "Trivial Pursuit" in '08 and "Don't Forget the Lyrics" in '07 -- where she won $350,000, despite having an ear-shattering singing voice.”
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles— Ten Things You Didn’t Want To Know
Super-spoilery alert.
Ten things we learn from the latest incarnation of the Terminator franchise "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"-- an upcoming TV series that is supposed to take place after Terminator 2, and possibly in another reality altogether from Terminator 3:
- Although the robots of the future may have better Terminator models (T-1000, anyone?), due to inflationary cost-cutting, they apparently prefer the original, cheaper T-101 series. (Seriously, do you think morphing mimetic polyalloy grows on trees?)
- Fortunately, Terminators can get jobs as substitute teachers to supplement their meager income as killing machines.
- They can also show up as hot young female high school students. (Portrayed by 26-year old Summer Glau)
- No matter how many people see a totally gross guy with, like robot parts sticking out of his mangled flesh, the authorities won't believe your "robots from the future" story.
- In fifty years, people will be so smart that just one engineer can make a time machine with 60s-era spare parts.
- Thus, sending that guy back to 1963 to leave stuff for you to use in 1999 is no big deal. And certainly makes a lot of sense plot-wise.
- Banks will let you keep lots of futuristic equipment-- like superguns and atomic-powered time-travel devices-- in their safety deposit boxes for 35 years without question. You can even leave them turned on for free.
- Traveling back to the future isn't a problem either. You don't even need a flux capacitor.
- Suddenly emerging naked from a ball of lightning on the LA expressway will get you on the local news, who will refer to it as a "college prank." Everyone you know will be watching the same channel, which kinda scraps your "nobody knows we're here" notion.
- And finally, even though you just left behind your retro-time machine and a blown up robot, still no one will believe your silly time-traveling androids fantasy.
Look for it on FOX in 2008. Or maybe not, depending on if the TV execs of the future can send back a Cancellator to kill it... before it's too late.
Rod Extreme! Ocean’s Thirteen mis-subtitled
Engrish in translation
Ocean's Thirteen: pirated in Germany, subtitles added for Chinese and Korean street markets... and bizarrely in English.
Dig this scene, in which David Paymer (as a quality reviewer) tries to get a table at the casino's Italian restaurant -- it's almost intelligible.
| Actual | Subtitled |
| Paymer: Hello | Hello |
| I'd like a table for one | I want to set a table |
| I hear your risotto is tremendous | I heard you were pretty good here |
| Host: It is tremendous | really this is the President |
| The name on the reservation? | minute I saw no one set it down |
| Paymer: I'm a walk in. | I was in here |
| Host: I'm sorry, sir, I can't accommodate you. | Excuse me, Mr. I can not provide to you. |
| (Paymer looks around at empty tables) | |
| Host: Those are reserved | how that |
| May I recommend one of our other restaurants? | Why not consider other restaurant? |
| Ling Su, Cantonese-inspired Szechuan cuisine | very delicate environment sexy hospitality |
| Paymer: Great | Rod extreme |
Shortly afterwards, the subs degrade into meaningless non-sequiturs, when the dialogue gets confusingly techspeaky during a telephone call between Brad Pitt ("Rusty Ryan") and Don Cheadle ("Basher Tarr"):
| Actual | Subtitled |
| Ryan: Yeah? Take it easy. What's the problem? | I was out what happened |
| Tarr: The tri-code optimizer that feed into the nipple-sleeve receivers perforated their lubricating bladders and began pressing against the sidewalls. | could not believe This is simply arbitrary shape We must re-ordering Do you think it |
| Picture a knee, but without any cartilage, bone on bone | I pulled right optimistic about the waiters |
| There's a shearing effect with alloy of a different density or grade | This is no different from Rod extremely waiter |
| Ryan: Becomes magnetized, reverse polarization, I know. Where does that put us? | Do not panic waiter I just do not see |
| Tarr: Cattled | really fucking |
Leastwise the translator got the gist of "cattled."