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Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Ten Things You Didn’t Want To Know
Super-spoilery alert.
Ten things we learn from the latest incarnation of the Terminator franchise “The Sarah Connor Chronicles“– an upcoming TV series that is supposed to take place after Terminator 2, and possibly in another reality altogether from Terminator 3:
- Although the robots of the future may have better Terminator models (T-1000, anyone?), due to inflationary cost-cutting, they apparently prefer the original, cheaper T-101 series. (Seriously, do you think morphing mimetic polyalloy grows on trees?)
- Fortunately, Terminators can get jobs as substitute teachers to supplement their meager income as killing machines.
- They can also show up as hot young female high school students. (Portrayed by 26-year old Summer Glau)
- No matter how many people see a totally gross guy with, like robot parts sticking out of his mangled flesh, the authorities won’t believe your “robots from the future” story.
- In fifty years, people will be so smart that just one engineer can make a time machine with 60s-era spare parts.
- Thus, sending that guy back to 1963 to leave stuff for you to use in 1999 is no big deal. And certainly makes a lot of sense plot-wise.
- Banks will let you keep lots of futuristic equipment– like superguns and atomic-powered time-travel devices– in their safety deposit boxes for 35 years without question. You can even leave them turned on for free.
- Traveling back to the future isn’t a problem either. You don’t even need a flux capacitor.
- Suddenly emerging naked from a ball of lightning on the LA expressway will get you on the local news, who will refer to it as a “college prank.” Everyone you know will be watching the same channel, which kinda scraps your “nobody knows we’re here” notion.
- And finally, even though you just left behind your retro-time machine and a blown up robot, still no one will believe your silly time-traveling androids fantasy.
Look for it on FOX in 2008. Or maybe not, depending on if the TV execs of the future can send back a Cancellator to kill it… before it’s too late.
Rod Extreme! Ocean’s Thirteen mis-subtitled
Engrish in translation
Ocean’s Thirteen: pirated in Germany, subtitles added for Chinese and Korean street markets… and bizarrely in English.
Dig this scene, in which David Paymer (as a quality reviewer) tries to get a table at the casino’s Italian restaurant — it’s almost intelligible.
| Actual | Subtitled |
| Paymer: Hello | Hello |
| I’d like a table for one | I want to set a table |
| I hear your risotto is tremendous | I heard you were pretty good here |
| Host: It is tremendous | really this is the President |
| The name on the reservation? | minute I saw no one set it down |
| Paymer: I’m a walk in. | I was in here |
| Host: I’m sorry, sir, I can’t accommodate you. | Excuse me, Mr. I can not provide to you. |
| (Paymer looks around at empty tables) | |
| Host: Those are reserved | how that |
| May I recommend one of our other restaurants? | Why not consider other restaurant? |
| Ling Su, Cantonese-inspired Szechuan cuisine | very delicate environment sexy hospitality |
| Paymer: Great | Rod extreme |
Shortly afterwards, the subs degrade into meaningless non-sequiturs, when the dialogue gets confusingly techspeaky during a telephone call between Brad Pitt (”Rusty Ryan”) and Don Cheadle (”Basher Tarr”):
| Actual | Subtitled |
| Ryan: Yeah? Take it easy. What’s the problem? | I was out what happened |
| Tarr: The tri-code optimizer that feed into the nipple-sleeve receivers perforated their lubricating bladders and began pressing against the sidewalls. | could not believe This is simply arbitrary shape We must re-ordering Do you think it |
| Picture a knee, but without any cartilage, bone on bone | I pulled right optimistic about the waiters |
| There’s a shearing effect with alloy of a different density or grade | This is no different from Rod extremely waiter |
| Ryan: Becomes magnetized, reverse polarization, I know. Where does that put us? | Do not panic waiter I just do not see |
| Tarr: Cattled | really fucking |
Leastwise the translator got the gist of “cattled.”