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McPainin Ticket Courts Average Joes
In a bid to retain some relevance with middle America, the Republican ticket– led by that two-headed beast McPainin– has discovered a long-overlooked demographic that they’re now mining for votes: Average Joes.
So far, Sarah has spoken frequenty of her being a “normal Joe Sixpack American“, while John has found his new BFF, Joe the Plumber, whom he mentioned more than a dozen times during the debates last night, as someone who would supposedly be affected by Obama’s tax proposals.
But it turns out that ’ol Joe (Wurzelbacher, not as McCain called him, “Wurzburger”) not only doesn’t like to pay more taxes – he doesn’t like to pay taxes at all: he owes Ohio nearly $1200 in state taxes.
And then there’s the bit of a vocational problem: seems he doesn’t actually have a license to plumb – and didn’t even realize that he needed one.
Nor is he apparently serious about buying out his boss’s business, which according to records pulls down just $100,000 in gross revenues — not the $250,000 profits that Joe was oh-so-worried about. So in short, none of the claims that McCain made against Obama, using his pal Joe, turn out to carry water.
So who’s up next? Joe Schmoe and Joe Camel?
Economic woes hit restaurant row:
Bennigans, Steak & Ale shut down
The “fern bar and random crap on walls” concept was dealt a blow today, as corporate-owned Bennigans shut its doors, when parent S&A Restaurant Group filed Chapter 7. Bennigans has been struggling in the face of stiff competition from the T.G.I. Friday’s® juggernaut, who for years has been been making new discoveries in “flair” research– and according to their Forty Three Years of Fun FAQ, is credited with:
- Popularizing the term Happy Hour with the young singles set in the 1960’s.
- Inventing the Long Island Iced Tea and Loaded Potato Skins.
- Popularizing frozen and ice cream drinks.
- Pioneering non-alcoholic Smoothies and Flings in honor of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles.
Along with its flagship, Metromedia is shuttering Steak & Ale, Ponderosa Steakhouse and Bonanza Steakhouse locations. (Could this be an end to 60s TV Western-themed meat joints?) [Note: these are apparently franchised through a different division of Metromedia.)
Apparently orphaned franchisees are said not to be affected by the bankruptcy– although how useful is it to hold a franchise whose restaurants are apparently abandoned by employees?